me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize