I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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