we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
