Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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