bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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