Just fell off a train. Bad.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
