She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize