Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I believe in your delicious
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize