i think my tv is drunk
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
