My hand turned me down
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
