So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
