Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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