she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
