Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
