last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is wine microwaveable?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
