Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
