Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
