what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize