Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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