HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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