One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
