i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize