oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Nicole vs. Life
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
