pedialite and red bull = repair kit
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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