Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
