is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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