The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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