so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
