no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
