Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
