She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
