hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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