Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize