U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
