i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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