I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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