she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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