Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My hand turned me down
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
