I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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