but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
