He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
