that's an acceptable place to lick
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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