the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
