drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
