Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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