My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
