i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
third nipple confirmed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This toilet bowl is my home.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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