He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
