On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
