So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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