am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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