My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize