i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
