Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
