Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
