He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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