she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
