so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
