my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
