and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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