Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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