Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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