her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
