This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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