So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
