dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
