I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
