Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
