I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
