We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
