I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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