i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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