Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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