there was a trapeze. enough said
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
