I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
