He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my liver is dry heaving
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
